So after dumping Coke in my laptop, getting it cleaned (manually, not ultrasonically), and running an OS update, these are the keys that work:

`123450- ~!@#$%)_

qwertp[\ QWERTP{|

asdfg;’ ASDFG:”

zxcvb/ ZXCVB?

I find this somewhat limiting. I could create a new language, but some pesky clients insist on using some of the missing letters and characters.