I’m in an odd spot right now.

For the first time since starting meds 6+ years ago, I’m deeply depressed. There’s an external cause (career upheaval), which is much easier to grapple with than malfunctioning brain chemistry, so I’m not worried. Still, it sucks to deal with on a daily basis; I’m much more inclined to curl into a ball than to engage in all/any of the productive ways I could be spending this undesired time off.

I’m coping by plunging into horror fiction (Joe Hill) and the TV version of Legion, in which mutant David is psychologically unbalanced. I LOVE this scene so if you want to see a thing to which I relate so much it’s practically a mind meld, watch this. The disruption starts immediately: chapter 3, but a bamboo 2?

Sometimes my dreams are more real than waking time, or at least more telling. What do I choose to believe, and why?