I get a few home decor/improvement newsletters in my e-mail, and frankly I toss most of them. But one from Kohler said something about four ways to spruce up a bathroom, so I took a peek.

Wow. I have to show this to my kids, because we long have marveled at the high-end toilet on the Sims that not only flushes itself – not a huge deal, because even the ones at state park campgrounds do that now – but has a built-in modem for Internet access.

The nice people at Kohler have come up with a $1,300 toilet seat with some bidet functionality, which explains part of the price tag. It also has, and I swear I am not making any of this up: a heated seat with three different temperature settings; warm air with three temperature and fan speed settings; deodorizer (OK, I can see that); REMOTE CONTROL; user pre-sets, to store control settings for two users; and a lighted bowl so your toilet can be your nightlight. You can check it out here. I’m not placing an order – ever.

This post originally appeared on ourMidland.com, the online home of the Midland (MI) Daily News. Republished with permission.