Woe to those who turn to vending machines for breakfast. Occasionally it works well: juice! Trail mix!

Today, not so. No peanuts. Not even Lorna Doones. There are Pop-Tarts, but they are unlabeled? Blueberry? (Ick.) Cherry? (Acceptable.) S’more? (Beyond ick, into the realm of Only Children Eat Those.)

(Sigh.) Cheez-Its, because they’re the closest thing to toast available. And a 100 Grand bar because, um, it contains rice.

This post originally appeared on ourMidland.com, the online home of the Midland (MI) Daily News. Republished with permission.